


Let's Not Talk About It

by Superbarryallen



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superbarryallen/pseuds/Superbarryallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well this is awkward." Spencer says untangling her limbs from Aria. That shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now they had to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Not Talk About It

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I tried to correct them but I probably missed a bunch. :)

No one was really sure how the alcohol had made it's way into their systems. Okay, so, maybe Hanna had suggested that they take a few shots to loosen up and let go a little, but she hadn't suggested that they get so drunk that Spencer wasn't even sure what was going on anymore. She was on her bed, watching Aria who was dancing around her room with her hands extended above her head, walking, or more stumbling, around the room to the music. Hanna and Emily were downstairs long since passed out from the alcohol they had consumed. Spencer wasn't really sure how she was still awake. She laughed hysterically at Aria who looked absolutely ridiculous. Aria reaches her hands out to Spencer who quickly shakes her head in protest. She wasn't much of a dancer - drunk or not. But, somehow, Aria's out stretched hands and the look she was giving Spencer made her reluctantly stand up. Aria giggled twisting around Spencer while Spencer danced to her own beat.

Maybe Spencer had drank to relieve built up stress, or, maybe she had drank to forget about the nasty break up with Toby. The breakup. Spencer hadn't really discussed it with her friends, although, they all knew. She just hadn't found the right words yet. Her relationship with Toby, in her opinion, had ran it's course. She had read about that. How sometimes relationships last and sometimes you fall out of love - which is exactly what happened. Not for Toby though. He begged Spencer to reconsider, that they were simply just going through a rough time, but it wasn't that. Spencer felt different, not just about Toby, but about herself. 

Aria trips into Spencer and the pair stumble back landing on Spencer's soft bed. They both giggled at nothing in particular, except, maybe themselves. Spencer was very aware of the buzzing in her brain which was probably the alcohol clouding her thoughts. She takes a deep breath and twists her head to the side to face her friend who was looking at her thoughtfully. Spencer twisted on her side, which Aria copied, and Spencer let her finger trace down Aria's arm, smiling when the girl got goosebumps from the movement. Aria let her finger trace Spencer's cheek and jaw smiling to herself. The pair fell into a comfortable silence - just enjoying each other's company. "I like this." Aria says after a moment.

"What?" Spencer asks curiously her hand stopping momentarily.

"Spending time with you." Aria mutters. Spencer knew that her friend had drank equally as much as her, and she was half her size, so she suspected that Aria would be a little more than tipsy.

"I like it too." Spencer replies curling a strand of Aria's hair around her finger. The music was still playing, not that it was awfully loud, since the girls down stairs had complained that it was hurting their heads. Spencer figured she should probably turn the stereo off, but if it was quiet enough that she could hear and concentrate on what Aria was saying, then there was no need to turn it off or down. Aria's hand caresses Spencer's cheek and Spencer raises her eyebrows. Never had Aria touched Spencer like this in the whole entirety of their friendship. She didn't mind though. It was oddly calming and it felt nice.

"Your skin is so soft." Aria whispers her eyes focused on her finger that was tracing Spencer's cheek. Spencer smiled at the compliment.

"Thanks." Spencer says with a small laugh. She wasn't sure what Aria was hinting at, or even if she was hinting at anything, maybe Spencer was just imagining things. Maybe she missed Toby so much her mind just thought that Aria was being a little more intimate, or maybe it was the freaking alcohol that had made her drank in the first place. Spencer watched carefully as Aria's eyes moved from her cheek to her lips, slyly, probably thinking that Spencer hadn't seen her. 

"I want to kiss you." Aria mutters. Spencer's eyes grew wide with surprise at hearing Aria say that. There had always been a special bond between Aria and herself but never had she imagined that Aria would ever say those words to her. In all honesty, she figured that if anyone was to say those words, it would be Spencer, since she'd had this gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach since the day that Aria had grabbed her hand during a scary movie, which was months prior to this very moment, and now that Spencer thought about it, it was at the beginning of her downfall with Toby. 

"You're drunk," Spencer reminds Aria. " _we're_ drunk." Spencer swallows hard trying to dispel the nerves in that were beginning to creep up on her. She was suddenly very aware of the closeness between them, and even though Spencer knew she should probably move away, it was impossible for her to actually do because, despite, knowing that she should probably move away from Aria to help save them from awkwardness and embarrassment when they woke up the next morning, she found that she didn't want to do that. Spencer hadn't wanted to do something for a while now and this development had her staying locked in this position her breathing increasing ever so slightly.

"Okay," Aria admits though her eyes were locked on Spencer's lips. "but who said we can't kiss?" She asks.

"Do friends do that?" Spencer asks sarcastically. She knew the answer was no, unless, you and your friend have some sort of agreement, but normally when you kiss someone it means something - not that you're 'just friends'.

"Alison kissed Emily." Aria says but even that wasn't a good argument because we all knew that Alison had felt something towards Emily that was more than just friendship. "Who says it has to mean anything?" Aria shrugs her argument not even making sense to her drunken mind. "Friends kiss all the time. Let's just call it an experiment."

"You know exactly how to catch my attention." Spencer jokes leaning ever so slightly closer to Aria.

"Well, trying to seduce a brainiac I had to bring experiment into it, a lot more effective I think." Aria replies grinning at Spencer playfully. They were inches apart, maybe even centimeters, when a thought occurred through Spencer's drunken haze.

"You're trying to seduce me?" Spencer asks laughing and that's when Aria closes the space between them smiling into the kiss. At first the kiss was little awkward, and after parting for a second, Aria claimed that the kiss wasn't that good. Spencer, frowning at this and claiming she wasn't completely ready, presses her lips back to Aria's. This time the kiss was a lot less sloppy and awkward. Aria's lips were insanely soft and Spencer could feel that the kiss was getting more heated with every passing second. Aria's hand somehow slips beneath Spencer's t-shirt caressing her flat abdomen which causes Spencer to moan into the kiss. Aria opens her mouth slightly to allow Spencer access which she doesn't refuse. Aria's hands travel up Spencer's abdomen until she reaches her breast where she plays with the erect nipple. Spencer pulls away with the two of them panting wildly. "What are we doing?" Spencer asks her mind still not completely understanding what was actually happening.

"We're making out." Aria states, like it was normal for them to be doing this sort of thing. 

"You were totally feeling me up." Spencer says playfully her lips drawing close to Aria's ear. She had had a small taster of what Aria was like, and even from the small make out session they had just had, Spencer knew she wanted more.

"Maybe a little." Aria admits, shuddering when she feels Spencer's breath brush over her neck.

"Friends definitely don't do that." Spencer breathes.

"The close ones do." Aria jokes lifting Spencer's chin up. "Let's not talk anymore." Aria says before pulling Spencer up. Spencer leans down meeting Aria's lips and pushing her further on the bed, even if this was just making out and it probably wouldn't go further, Spencer wanted it to last as long as possible before the inevitable happened. So, for the remainder of the night, the girls passionately made out and Ezra never once crossed Aria's mind, nor did Toby cross Spencer's, it was simply the two of them, in this moment, together.

********

The morning after Spencer woke up tangled in Aria, her hands snaked around the petite girl's waist. She could hear banging down stairs that sounded like cupboards opening and closing. The music was still playing quietly, but, with the hangover that was brewing inside of Spencer's head, it sounded like a night club. She groaned trying to regain her senses while at the same time trying to resist the urge to barf everywhere. The night was coming back to her, and just to make sure that she hadn't just imagined the whole thing, she glanced down. Aria was lying on top of her, with her hands still up Spencer's shirt, resting on her abdomen, her head was resting against Spencer's chest and their legs were tangled together. Spencer breathed a heavy sigh trying to figure out what exactly she had been thinking last night. It wasn't just an in the moment kind of thing, it had been a thought that had been buried deep in her mind, but to Aria, it was exactly that, an in the moment kind of thing. Maybe Spencer could slip out and avoid the whole conversation? She couldn't do that, it would make it seem a lot more than it was if she did that. A groan sounds from Aria and Spencer has the urge to pretend she's still asleep but decides against it. 

Aria peers up at Spencer her eyes looking slightly confused when she saw the brunette - not that she was complaining or anything. She used one hand to cover her eyes, trying to shield them from the sunlight that was streaming in through Spencer's partly open curtains. "Well this is awkward." Spencer says untangling her limbs from Aria. That shouldn't have happened, but it did, and now they had to deal with the consequences.

"Why is it awkward?" Aria asks sitting up right and moving to the edge of the bed where Spencer was now sat. Spencer didn't have a good answer for that, she just looked at Aria, hoping to convey some kind of explanation. "Nothing has to change Spence, we're still friends, we'll just..." Aria pauses, catching Spencer looking away from her.

"Are you going to tell Ezra?" Spencer asks. She didn't really want Aria to do that, but then again, every time they lied it seemed to come back and bite them right in the butt.

"I don't think there's anything I need to tell him." Aria says dismissively.

"What are we going to do Aria?" Spencer asks her voice both confused and worried. She looked at her friend in hope that maybe she had some sort of idea, but then again, maybe Aria didn't feel the same way as Spencer, after all, she has Ezra, Spencer has no one. 

"Let's not talk about it." Aria says after a small silence. Spencer raises an eyebrow at her. "Think about it, if we don't talk about it and-" Spencer cuts Aria off.

"And pretend like it never happened." Spencer says sarcastically already knowing the answer. The thing was, Spencer couldn't just forget about it, last night was carved into her memory, but just like she suspected, it hadn't meant the same thing to Aria as it had to her. "Okay, I can do that." Spencer lies just because losing Aria altogether was not an option.

"So we're friends?" Aria was a little confused, Spencer seemed almost mad.

"No." Spencer says seriously and Aria gets a sinking feeling in her gut. "We're best friends." Spencer beams at Aria and she can't help but smile back. "Now let's go short stack, before Tweedledee and Tweedledum destroy my kitchen." Spencer stands up and extends her hand to help Aria up. Aria takes her hand gratefully, happy that they had fallen back to the way they had been before, except, she wasn't so sure they were the same as they had been before. Spencer turns off the stereo and heads out the door and just before they get to the stairs Aria asks.

"Will you make your pancakes? They're my favourite." Aria says and a smile tugs at the corners of Spencer's lips. She doesn't answer because she doesn't have too. Of course she'll do what Aria wants, she always has, why would she stop now?

********

Aria was going through the images on the camera not really listening to what Ezra was talking about. Spencer was almost constantly on her mind these days and, although she didn't like to admit it, the girl was also in her dreams. Call her a pervert, she really couldn't care, but the dreams were a lot more graphic than any dream she had ever had about Ezra or Jason. Every time she woke up from the dreams she was throbbing, unsatisfied, that she had to give in to masturbation. She knew it was wrong to think of her friend in that way, she knew it was wrong and her fault that she was having these thoughts, if she hadn't kissed Spencer that night then she would still just be Spencer. But now, she was so much more and even when she was with Ezra she found herself comparing him to her. He was sweet and gentle and he didn't have a problem with not being in control, after all, their whole relationship was out of control. Spencer was totally different. The girl needed control, she was annoyingly smart, she wasn't afraid to correct you, she was witty and a smart ass, her smile could light up the world and she was pretty much the most important person to Aria. It was so backwards that Aria didn't even attempt to comprehend it. Ezra should be the most important person to Aria, and don't get her wrong, she loves Ezra deeply but she found herself wanting Spencer maybe a little more than him. 

Her phone ringing jars her from her distraction and Ezra stops talking glancing at Aria who was still absorbed in her thoughts. She picks up the phone and sees that it's a number that she doesn't recognise. Ezra sighs, he had noticed Aria's distraction but he hadn't wanted to say anything to her. "Hello?" Aria asks finally answering the phone out of curiosity.

"Hello, is this Aria Montgomery?" A voice asks which Aria didn't recognise either but they sounded like they worked in an office or something.

"This is she?" Aria says her statement coming out as more of a question since she was wondering who would want to talk to her.

"Hi, we've got a patient here at Rosewood Hospital, she said she will only talk to you." The woman who Aria now assumed was a nurse informs her. Aria's mind rakes with ideas of who it could be. "Her name is Spencer Hastings, she claims she knows you?" The woman asks. Aria wasn't just a name you plucked out of the air, of course Spencer knew who she was.

"Yes, oh my God, is she okay?" Aria feels panic rise in her chest at the thought of Spencer and what might have happened to her. "What happened?" Aria asks not letting the nurse answer the first question.

"She's fine, she got hit by a car earlier tonight but nothing more than a few cuts and bruises." The nurse pauses and Aria can faintly hear the noise of someone sifting through papers. "She's free to go home but she said that she wants you to come and pick her up."Aria nods before realising that she's on the phone.

"Yes, I'll be there as soon as possible." Aria informs the nurse already standing up from Ezra's couch. 

"You should know that she's had a few pain killers so she's a little out of it." The nurse continues.

"I'm coming, tell her I'll be there soon." Aria sees Ezra looking at her curiously.

"Thank you ma'am, bye." The nurse says hanging up before Aria could even reply. How the hell had Spencer been hit by a car? What was she doing on the road? The Spencer who Aria knew was sensible and smart, this was not something that sounded like a Spencer Hastings move. Aria hurriedly said goodbye to Ezra, giving him a quick run down on the situation. He had offered to drive her there but Aria had quickly refused reminding him that she had drove her car over. Even if Spencer was okay - Aria hadn't drove so fast in her whole entire life.

  ********

"Spencer, are you kidding me?" Aria asks in disbelief, she checks her watch that reads half past midnight, she hadn't realised that she had been at Ezra's apartment for so long. Spencer was sat in a hospital waiting chair, her arm in a sling and she had her head tilted to the floor. She looked like a child being told off for something that she had done, which, was exactly what Aria was doing. "You scared the hell out of me!" Aria yells gaining looks from other people but she didn't care. 

"Sorry." Spencer mutters. "About everything." She adds which catches Aria's attention. She didn't want to get into it right now, here in a public place, so she gently helps Spencer up, frowning at her so she knows that she's still mad at her, before leading her outside to her car. Aria drove to Spencer's in silence, eyeing the girl every so often to make sure she was alright. She was slumped against the car door, her head leaning against the window and Aria wondered what was bothering her friend so much. 

"Are your parents home?" Aria asks gently shutting off the engine. Spencer sits up, just realising that she was home.

"No, they're on a business trip. Thanks for the ride." Spencer says climbing out. Aria quickly follows catching up with Spencer easily. Aria noticed that the taller girl was limping slightly on her leg.

"Spence? Are you sure you're okay?" Aria asks.

"Physically? Yeah. Mentally?" Spencer trials off pushing her door open and leaving it for Aria to follow her.

"What did you mean back at the hospital?" Aria questions playing with the edging of a china ornament. "You said you were sorry for everything." Spencer sighs taking the sling off and wincing as she extended her arm. Aria drifts over to the armchair sitting across from Spencer, who was on the couch, to look at her fully. 

"About us." Spencer confesses. "It was my idea to go up to my room that night, I remember that."

"I really don't think you're the one to blame." Aria raises an eyebrow. "I was the one who wanted to kiss you." Spencer smiles softly at the memory. "I could have lost you tonight Spencer." Aria says aloud her heart breaking with the realisation.

"I know." Spencer replies.

"No Spencer, you don't know." Aria says and Spencer looks a little taken aback by Aria's words. "Then you wouldn't have known how I feel about you." Aria watches as Spencer swallows hard, her brain trying to digest what she was saying. Aria couldn't resist it anymore, she connects her lips to Spencer's in a hungry exchange, trying to convey her feelings into the kiss. The want and the need for her to be with Spencer. Spencer didn't even think about it, she kissed back with equal hungriness, pulling Aria down onto the couch with a grunt. This was what Aria wanted. Spencer slips her hand under Aria's shirt. She wanted Aria.

She breaks the kiss looking at the brunette for confirmation that she this is what she wanted. Aria's eyes were a shade darker with lust and desire and Spencer figured she probably looked the same way. Aria took the break as an escape, slipping out from under Spencer, and making her way up the stairs. Spencer didn't hesitate to follow, the light ache in her arm and legs being ignored by the thumping in her chest. She's up the stairs in a matter of seconds. As soon as she was in her room, she pressed Aria against the door kissing her neck roughly. Aria groans wrapping her arms around Spencer's neck and pulling her down more forcefully. Somewhere along the way the pair stumbled over to the bed, giving Spencer a feeling of déjà vu, though she never protested one bit. She was too absorbed in Aria, in the way she was taking her time with Spencer, in the way she was letting her hands roam the whole length of her upper body. There was nothing stopping them now, and if a kiss could make them feel so drawn to each other, there was no telling what effect this would have on them. Spencer moans when she feels Aria tugging on her pants. This was something that friends definitely didn't do. 

********

Spencer woke up feeling better than she ever had before. Granted, she had been hit by a car a few hours ago, but nothing felt better than to wake up next to Aria. The girl looked crazy from their night together, her hair was startling against the light pillow case and Spencer smiled to herself. It wasn't like she was virgin but Spencer felt like she had never really experienced sex, until she had last night with Aria. Spencer watched with delight as Aria slept soundly beside her, she knew that once Aria woke up it would be a different story. The girl was with Ezra for crying out loud, and no matter how much Aria wanted Spencer, that didn't change the fact that she was in love with Ezra and she needed Ezra more than she did Spencer. Yet, Spencer knew that Aria also needed her, and even if it was incredibly wrong, Spencer also knew that she couldn't say no. Right and wrong were blurry when it came to Aria. Last night she had given up control, something she rarely ever did, she let Aria take control and that scared her but at the same time it thrilled her. Aria stirred in her sleep drawing Spencer from her thoughts. "Hey." Aria says stretching her arms above her head. "Are you okay?" She asks probably remembering that Spencer had been hit by a car.

"I'm better than okay." Spencer muses tracing her fingers over Aria's smooth abdomen. Aria feels a shiver up her spine before she grabs her shirt off the ground pulling it over her head. "Well now I'm not." Spencer pouts.

"I have to get dressed." Aria says glaring at Spencer as the taller girl pulls her back down. "Last night was..."

"I know." Spencer says leaning up and pecking Aria on the lips. 

"It can't happen again." Aria says though not very convincingly. Spencer releases Aria.

"Let's not talk about it?" Spencer asks. Even if Aria had said that it couldn't happen again, Spencer knew that it was going to happen again, they both knew that they were just too bound together now to not let it happen again. Spencer didn't dare ask what they were because she was afraid of the answer she might get.

"Let's not talk about it." Aria confirms. Spencer sighs lying back down on the pillow, pulling the blankets up to cover herself better. "I have to go."

"You should take a shower." Spencer says.

"Why?" Aria asks smelling her pits.

"You smell like sex." Spencer says grinning sarcastically. Aria blushes pushing Spencer gently on the shoulder. 

"Please, I do not." Aria snorts.

"Are you sure?" Spencer questions. Aria rolls her eyes before heading towards Spencer's door. "I'll see you Monday at school?" Spencer calls after Aria. She had a feeling that she would be seeing Aria before then, but, as apart of their 'let's not talk about it' rule, she didn't say otherwise.

"Yeah." Aria replies before exiting the room. Spencer listened as she heard Aria's footsteps on the stairs and then the front door closing. She sighed rubbing her face with her hands. Spencer was left wondering what the hell she had got herself into. How was this ever going to work out? The simple answer was that it wasn't. Someone was going to end up getting hurt, but for now, Spencer knew she didn't have the strength to stay away from Aria. It was gravitational, like the planets around the sun. Spencer needed Aria in ways that she didn't even fully understand herself. 

********

Spencer shoves her books into her locker since it was lunch. She hadn't seen any of the girls yet so she made her way to the outside tables where she was sure they would be sitting eating lunch. Spencer wasn't sure how this was going to work. What if Emily or Hanna noticed something was up or what if Spencer accidentally says something that outs them? She pushes the thoughts to one side as she makes her way into the courtyard already knowing what table they were sitting at. Spencer was playing with her phone so much that she didn't look where she sat down until she felt someone's hand rest on her thigh. Spencer snaps her head up which catches the attention of Emily and Hanna who were across from her. Sure enough, Aria was sitting beside Spencer, her hand rubbing Spencer's inner thigh and making her increasingly aroused by the minute. "You okay there Spence?" Hanna questions. Spencer swallows thickly trying to ignore the steady throb in between her legs.

"Yeah, no, I'm good." Spencer cursed her voice for breaking on the last word. She shifts her eyes to Aria who she was sure was smirking. Spencer gritted her teeth fighting back what she wanted to say and a moan that she was sure was about to slip from her lips. She felt Aria's hand rub her core and Spencer had to fake a cough to cover up the moan she almost did. Aria was trying her best to contain the laugh building up inside her.

"You sure you're okay Spencer?" Emily asks frowning at her friend.

"Fine, just a little distracted that's all." Spencer grumbles the last part feeling helpless and at Aria's mercy. It was surprising really, how easy and quick Aria could get Spencer to give up control. The teasing was all fun and games but Spencer knew she could have her way with Aria if she so desired, and even though it's probably a really stupid idea to have sex in school, Spencer didn't really care - she wanted Aria and she wanted her now. "Hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom, see you guys in English?" Spencer stood up leaving Aria behind but knowing fine well she would follow.

"Um, I have to go return a few books to the library." Aria mutters, mostly to herself, since Emily and Hanna were too busy in their own conversation. Aria pushes the bathroom door open and is immediately ambushed by Spencer. The taller brunette pushes Aria against the door, her lips on Aria's the second she enters. "Spencer." Aria says, though it comes out as more of a moan. Spencer doesn't reply, she simply smiles into the kiss, twisting the lock on the bathroom door, to make sure they wouldn't be disturbed. It's not exactly romantic to have sex in the school bathroom, but then again when it came to Spencer, Aria couldn't care where she was as long as Spencer was there. "Did you check that we're alone?" Aria hisses as Spencer begins to kiss her jawline.

"Who do you think I am?" She scoffs tugging on Aria's clothes. Aria laughs when she feels Spencer's breath tickle her neck. 

"You're right." Aria says twisting them around so Spencer was against the door. "I don't know what I was thinking." Aria mutters her finger trailing down Spencer's torso. She took a step back and Spencer looked at her wearily, unsure of what exactly Aria was doing. Aria didn't say anything, she simply let her eyes roam Spencer's slender frame, her lips curling with pleasure as she thought of how she could please her in many ways. Spencer gulped like she knew what Aria was thinking. She had studied Aria like a true Hastings would and she knew exactly what to do to make the girl go insane. 

"Enough looking." Spencer says breaking the small silence and hooking her finger under Aria's chin. She knew the girl was thinking about something by the small frown that had made its way onto her face. Spencer leaned in and Aria instinctively tangled her fingers in Spencer's hair, pulling gently, which rose a grunt from the back of Spencer's throat. Spencer lead them to the toilet stall, only stumbling once or twice, but thanks to Aria she didn't fall. Spencer leaned Aria against the side of the toilet stall, laughing at the smaller girl as she struggled to unbutton Spencer's shirt. 

"Why does it have so many buttons?" Aria complains lightheartedly. Spencer took Aria's hand in her own, helping her unbutton the shirt. 

"Sorry, it seemed appropriate this morning but if I knew that I had an anatomy lesson with Aria Montgomery, then I would have worn something a little less..." Spencer pauses looking at Aria who was smiling amused. "Well, I would have worn a little less."

"It's always anatomy lessons with me." Aria replies, sliding Spencer's shirt off and letting it flutter to the ground weightlessly. She places her hand on the small of Spencer's back pulling the girl closer to her while sending an electric current up her spine. 

"I see." Spencer whispers. "Shall we?" Spencer asks to which Aria grins at, pushing her down onto the the toilet seat both of them lost in the heat, touch and feel of each other's skin. There was no agreement about not talking about it this time, though, Spencer was sure that it would go without being said. Aria still had Ezra which would have bothered Spencer if she wasn't so addicted to Aria. She was like a drug that Spencer couldn't shake, and she knew that the girl was going to get her into a lot of trouble one day, but she didn't care, because she couldn't give Aria up and for now, at least, Aria couldn't give Spencer up either.

********

 Spencer was on her second cup of coffee. She liked caffeine, not just for its taste, but because she could reply on it to keep her awake and clear minded. Aria was sat across from her, watching idly as Spencer flipped through sheets of homework, guzzling down her coffee, with her fingers tapping on the table which was the only sound between them. Aria had always noticed how Spencer drank a lot of coffee and she had told her many times that she should probably calm her caffeine intake down, but Spencer just rolled her eyes and told Aria that she was exaggerating. The silence was becoming too much to bear for Aria and she could feel her impatience rising the longer Spencer didn't look at her or talk to her. "What are we?" Aria asks breaking the silence and asking the question that they had both been avoiding since the beginning of their relationship. Spencer looks up, her hands stopping on the table. She looked weary and unsure and Aria knew she feared the answer just as much as she did herself.

"Where is this coming from?" Spencer asks setting her pen down. 

"We don't talk about us and I just- I'm sick of sitting in silence." Aria huffs sitting back in her chair. Spencer felt her throat constrict so she took a sip of coffee hoping to loosen it slightly. They were sitting in the corner of The Brew where they usually sat but Hanna and Emily were absent. Spencer had been pretty distracted recently, so when Aria had called and asked to go out to The Brew Spencer had agreed. Why should she act any different around Aria? They were still friends, or at least, Spencer figured they were still friends. For the first time in a long time Spencer was having trouble understanding something and she had no control over her feelings for Aria.

"Well I hope we're friends." Spencer says crossing her arms on the table and leaning on them. Aria swirls patterns on the table trying to decide if she should say what she wanted to say.

"I think we're more than just friends Spencer." Aria finally says. Spencer cocks her head to the side.

"Friends with benefits?" Spencer asks sarcastically smiling at Aria. Aria laughs, feeling the uneasiness in her stomach let up a little.

"I can't keep my hands off you." Aria admits resting her hand on Spencer's. Spencer was surprised by the action since Aria had been so secretive about them so far. "Why do you think that is?" Aria played with Spencer's hand smiling softly to herself.

"Hormones?" Spencer jokes sarcastically. The look she got from Aria made her take the question a little more seriously. "I think there's something bigger than us." Spencer confesses. "I think we're bound by something invisible." 

"Bound?" Aria asks with amusement. "You make it sound like its inescapable."

"Well I don't see it stopping anytime soon." Spencer shrugs. Aria goes quiet thinking about what Spencer said. She was going to see Ezra tonight for a romantic meal in his small apartment. The small apartment was beginning to become confining and Aria often found her thoughts drifting to Spencer whenever she was with Ezra. She knew that was wrong, and every time it happened she felt incredibly guilty, but she just couldn't stop thinking about the girl. She loved Ezra so much and they had been through a lot together, she couldn't just end things with him - after she fought so hard to keep him. She needed him and he was always there for her, but, so was Spencer. Aria tried not to think about it because when she did she would just confuse herself and she'd feel guilty and sad that she was lying to someone she loved and making her best friend lie as well. Spencer had something Ezra didn't though, like Spencer had said, they were bound by something invisible and consuming. Aria pushes the thoughts to the back of her mind, she didn't have to label her and Spencer yet, for now, they were friends and, sure, yeah, they might be more than friends but, it didn't matter because they were just in the moment.

********

Aria was listening to Ezra talking about his day at Hollis. She had managed to focus on him for most of the night asking him questions and talking to him like they used to. Ezra leaned in surprising Aria with a kiss on the lips. She couldn't help comparing the kiss to Spencer's. Unlike Spencer, Ezra's kisses seemed to lack passion, it was almost dull compared to Spencer. Aria chided herself for thinking of the brunette again. She was here, with her current boyfriend, and they were supposed to be having a romantic evening. "Aria, are you okay?" Ezra asks which snaps Aria from her daze.

"What? No, yeah of course I'm okay. Why?" Aria asks suddenly feeling like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been.

"You seem distracted." Ezra says pulling her onto his lap on the couch. "Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?" Ezra sounded so concerned and, yet again, Aria found herself feeling extremely guilty.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about school." Aria says which wasn't a complete lie, she had been thinking about school, and how she was going to see Spencer there tomorrow. Ezra looked unconvinced though he made no move to ask anymore from Aria, if she didn't want to talk about it, then he accepted that. He wrapped her in a hug, kissing her gently on the cheek, earning him a half smile from Aria. 

"How's Spencer been doing?" Ezra asks out of the blue and Aria freezes in horror. What if he knows? But that's stupid because he wouldn't be acting the way he is if he knew. Aria takes a deep breath.

"Um, she's good why?" Aria asks snuggling into Ezra's side so he couldn't see her panic.

"I heard that she and Toby broke up and since she had that drug problem, I was wondering if maybe, she had had a slip." Ezra says shrugging.

"No she hasn't." Aria says knowing full well that Spencer hadn't slipped back to that.

"Are you sure Aria? She could be doing it without you knowing." Ezra was just concerned but Aria didn't appreciate that he thought that she might not have noticed.

"I'm pretty sure I would know if my best friend was on drugs." And the fact that she spent pretty much all her spare time with Spencer, meant that she knew for sure, but she couldn't bring that up. "I'm sorry for snapping at you." Aria apologizes getting the impression that she may have been a little mean to Ezra.

"It's fine, I get it." He says dismissively already forgetting about the outburst. "You want to watch a movie?" He asks.

"Sure." Aria mutters. As the minutes slipped by she was beginning to wish that Spencer was here, and that she was cuddling with her, rather than Ezra.

********

Aria was sitting in the park, with her sketching pad, accompanied by no one but nature. She liked to come here and draw. It was in the corner of the park giving her the best view and she was in the shade of a large tree. The sun reflected off the water in the large fountain in the middle of the park. She watched as people went about their daily routines with a few dog walkers and joggers making their way through the park every few hours. It was quiet and pretty much empty for a Saturday afternoon. Aria had texted Spencer a few minutes ago wanting to see her friend - since she hadn't for a couple of days now. "Hey." Aria lifted her head at the sound of the familiar voice. Spencer was standing a few feet in front of her, with her hands stuck in her blazer pockets, looking down at Aria who was on the bench.

"Hey." Aria replies looking back down at her sketching pad. Spencer sits down beside her without another word, heaving a heavy sigh. 

"What are you drawing?" Spencer asks leaning her head on Aria's shoulder to look at what she was drawing. Aria didn't like to show off her drawings so she immediately felt the need to close the sketch pad, so, that was exactly what she decided to do. "Oh come on Ari, just let me look." Spencer pouts giving Aria her best puppy dog eyes.

"No way, no one gets to see my drawings." Aria shakes her head firmly. 

"You know, if Picasso said that." Spencer jokes. In a quick motion the taller girl snatches the pad from Aria's grasp smiling triumphantly at the smaller girl. Aria immediately tries to take the pad back, reaching for it just to have Spencer move her arms so it was just out of her reach.

"Spencer!" Aria protests. She hated sharing her drawings, she didn't know why, she just didn't like it. 

"Okay, is there a love letter to me in here or are you just really this stressed about me seeing your work?" Spencer asks sarcastically while laughing.

"Of course there's not a love letter for you." Aria growls still trying to reach for the sketch pad. Spencer stops laughing, her face falling with some thought. Aria stops her struggle wondering what she had said to bother Spencer so much.

"For Ezra?" Spencer asks crestfallen. Aria felt bad all of a sudden, she was hurting Spencer, but she said she understood.

"No Spence I just- go ahead." Aria gives up wanting to make Spencer feel better. Spencer pauses, hesitating, she didn't know if she should look through Aria's sketch pad, she never let anyone do that - not even Ezra. She had admitted to herself a few days ago, when she had seen Aria and Ezra talking outside of school, that she was jealous of Ezra. Yes everyone, Spencer Hastings, was jealous of Ezra Fitz. She didn't like to admit it but she knew that she was jealous, so in some way, if Aria let her look through her sketch pad she felt that she had one upped Ezra. Except she didn't want to do that if it meant that she was going to upset Aria. "I'm serious." Aria says as she watches the hesitation on Spencer's face. Aria pulls Spencer's hand and rests the sketch pad between them, half of it on her own lap, the other on Spencer's. Aria opens the book and starts talking Spencer through the different drawings she had done. 

"I didn't know you were so good." Spencer marveled. The drawings were beautiful in Spencer's opinion - almost professional. In the back of her mind she knew that this couldn't go on. Things were getting out of hand, she was jealous of her old English teacher for crying out loud. The only way Spencer could see that would make her be able to resist Aria was if she never saw her. She knew she had to do this, to save their friendship, so Aria could be happy with Ezra because that was what she wanted and Spencer knew that. She'd made her decision, starting tomorrow she would avoid Aria at all costs, cutting off communication was the only way Spencer would be able to separate herself from Aria. Maybe Aria knew that herself but she just didn't have the guts to do it. Spencer took her eyes off the drawing and focused on Aria who was talking softly though a piece of work she had produced. Spencer smiled softly to herself and took in every last detail she could of her before tomorrow came. Aria looked at her, feeling Spencer's eyes on her. She furrowed her brow in confusion. 

"What's wrong Spencer?" Aria asks. Spencer brings her hand up, wrapping it around the back of Aria's neck, pulling her onto her lips. This was going to be their last kiss - even if Aria didn't know that yet.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." Spencer whispers after she pulls away from Aria. Aria let out a small laugh, bringing her finger up and resting it in the dimple of Spencer's chin. "You're really special to me." Spencer says with a kind of finality to her voice. She knew that she loved Aria and now would have been the perfect moment to tell her, but she couldn't do that to Aria, she couldn't put her in that position. Spencer had reached a point where what she wanted from Aria, she just couldn't get.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Aria asks noticing Spencer's weird mood. Spencer pulls away glancing around the park.

"I should probably get back home." Spencer says standing.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Aria asks but Spencer doesn't reply. She simply just offers the girl a small smile. Spencer felt bad as she walked away from Aria knowing that would be the last time they talked for a while. It was necessary and that was what Spencer was going to keep telling herself to get her through this.

********

"Are you avoiding someone?" Spencer jumps at the sound of a deep voice behind her. She knew the voice well, after all, it was her brother. She whirls around to see Jason standing behind her, carrying a few papers, dressed in a suit - he was probably doing work. 

"Something like that." Spencer replies glancing around the corner again. Aria was standing by Spencer's locker, leaning against it casually, probably waiting for Spencer to show up. 

"Do you need a ride?" Jason asks, stepping back so he was fully hidden, he didn't want to give Spencer's position way since it was clear she was hiding.

"That would actually be great but," Spencer pauses turning towards Jason. "please tell me you know a way out of here other than the front doors." That would mean that Spencer would have to walk past Aria and she just couldn't do that. 

"Spencer, who are you talking to? Of course I know how to get out of here." He smiles at Spencer and she smiles back sadly. Aria still plagued her thoughts and avoiding the girl had become exhausting and draining. She felt down most the time and since she was avoiding the one person who could lift her spirits, it had become a constant mind set for her. "Follow me." Jason gestures with his hand for Spencer to follow behind him. He leads them towards the boy's changing room.

"Um, Jason, I'm not sure I can go in there." Spencer said nervously laughing. She wasn't sure that she wanted to see a bunch of topless male jocks.

"Don't worry about it Spence." Jason says pushing the door open. "No one's inside." Jason smiles reassuringly at Spencer holding the door for her to go in.

"Thanks." She mutters quietly as she passes through the door Jason was holding open. So Jason's plan was to cut through the locker rooms and exit through the field - not a bad plan. Spencer walked silently beside her brother who she didn't know was throwing her concerned glances. He was confused as to why Spencer would be avoiding anyone, she was normally so head strong. Spencer was silent the whole walk to the car and even the drive. Jason wanted to help, but how could he if Spencer wasn't even talking about it. 

"Hey Spence?" Jason asks knowing that they were approaching their neighborhood and he wanted to know what was bothering his little sister.

"Yeah?" Spencer asks looking up from her phone. She had several text messages, missed calls and voicemail messages from Aria - all of which she ignored. 

"Who do I need to beat up?" Jason was smiling trying to ease Spencer into the topic with a joke.

"What?" Spencer was confused at first by Jason's question. 

"Who were you avoiding and why?" Jason asks now coming out and saying it, he wasn't one to dance around a topic, and normally, neither was Spencer - probably due to the Hastings blood they both shared. Spencer could lie, but that would just complicate things and she trusted Jason to keep a secret. Spencer sighed knowing that she couldn't escape the question and wanting to finally tell someone. Maybe it would help her to tell someone.

"Aria." Spencer says after a long pause. "I was avoiding Aria." 

"What? Why?" Jason was surprised since the girls always seemed so close - closer than they were to the others.

"It's a really long story." Not to mention really intimate and did she really want to share those things with her brother? Hell no. She supposed she could always cut out the intimate details, but then again, the majority of their relationship had been intimate. "We've been... seeing each other." Spencer was careful with her word choice. Surprisingly, Jason didn't seem that shocked, sure he did a double take, but something about the pair just clicked in his mind, it made sense.

"I'm guessing you're not now?" He asks focusing on the road ahead.

"Well, she doesn't know that." Spencer says feeling the familiar rise of guilt. It was necessary though. "The only way I can see of having a fighting chance of saving our friendship is if we cut off all contact, at least for a while, that way we won't be tempted to well, you know." Spencer shrugs. The plan made sense and Jason knew what Spencer was getting at but he didn't like it if she suffered.

"Are you sure this is the only way? Maybe if you-" Jason began but was swiftly cut off.

"Trust me, this is the only way." Spencer interrupts.

"You can't ignore her forever." Jason warns and Spencer knows that he's right. They pulled into the Hastings' drive way and Spencer turned to Jason.

"I'm not planning on ignoring her forever, just until we cool off, maybe she can move in with Fitz." Spencer says a little grudgingly. Jason raised his blonde eyebrows at Spencer's comment.

"So this is about Mr Fitz and Aria?" Jason asks. "Spencer, if you guys couldn't stay apart before, what makes you think that this little break you're doing will help with that? What if you can never be friends again?" Jason didn't mean to get all depressing but by the sounds of the situation, it was at that point.

"Then I guess we'll never be friends again." Spencer says somberly. "Thanks for the ride, I appreciate it Jason." Spencer thanks as she gets out of the car.

"Aria will come looking for you." Jason warns. The small brunette was just as determined as Spencer and if she was ignoring her, that would just fuel her.

"I know." Spencer replies before closing the door. And she did know, but she had to keep it going for as long as she could.

********

"Where the hell has Spencer been?" Hanna asks. Hanna was sitting on Aria's bed with Emily beside her while Aria sat by the window gazing out of it. Aria knew that the reason Spencer had been so scarce was due to her but she couldn't tell the girls that. "I haven't seen her for like two days, and when I do, her eyes are all shifty like she's watching for something." Hanna frowns at the memory of seeing Spencer so jumpy - the last she had seen Spencer that way was when she was on drugs. "You don't think that she..." Hanna left the sentence open knowing that the girls would pick up on what she was suggesting.

"No way Han, I mean, come on it's Spencer." Emily says though Aria was quiet still staring out the window. She needed a plan and for some reason sitting here helped her think.

"Aria?" Hanna asks looking at the girl who hadn't said much. "What do you think?" Aria sighed feeling her friend's eyes on her.

"I don't think she's using again." Aria says. She wanted to tell the others why Spencer was acting so weird but at the same time she couldn't.

"But?" Hanna asks she could sense that Aria wasn't finished.

"But I think that we need to trick her into seeing us." Aria meant herself of course. "Actually, we need to trick her into seeing me."

"Why just you?" Emily asks curiously. Spencer's behavior did seem like it was linked to something or someone Emily just never thought it would be Aria.

"We had a bit of a... misunderstanding, and she's avoiding me not you guys." Aria says. The only reason Spencer hadn't been talking to Hanna and Emily was because that would mean she would see Aria, something that Aria was sure, she didn't want to do.

"A misunderstanding? Did you run over her dog?" Hanna asks sarcastically. She knew it must be something serious for Spencer to be acting so extreme but Hanna couldn't think of anything that Aria had done.

"It's complicated." And complicated it was. Emily watched Aria carefully, trying to read her body language. She knew that Spencer and Aria were close and she had noticed small differences between them recently. Aria looked down right depressed, like she was going through a tough break up, and that was when it hit Emily. Spencer's weird behavior and avoiding Aria all made sense. They were seeing each other, secretly of course, but still seeing each other - how could she have missed this? Emily looked at Hanna, she knew she couldn't bring it up when she was here, even if Hanna was one of their best friends. Spencer and Aria obviously didn't want people to know about them - not even Hanna and Emily. 

"Hey Han, why don't you go pick up the food?" Emily suggests and Hanna frowns.

"Why me?" Hanna asks stubbornly. Emily rolls her eyes and tries to signal towards Aria silently so she would get the message. Hanna made an 'O' face. "You know what, I think I will go pick up the food." Hanna slips out of the room and Emily turns her attention back to Aria who had resumed her staring out of the window. Emily didn't even know how to bring up the topic or even what to say.

"Aria." Emily says looking at Aria and she knew that Emily knew. "Tell me what happened." It was more of a statement than a question, since Emily knew, there was no point in asking just to confirm her suspicion. Aria couldn't take it anymore, she crossed the room to burrow her head in Emily's shoulder sobbing into it. She had kept all her emotions bottled up and now they were flooding out of her.

"It's all my fault Em!" Aria wailed soaking Emily's shirt. "I was so selfish and now I've lost her." Aria was crying uncontrollably. Emily tightened her grip on her friend in a comforting embrace trying to calm the girl down. After a while Aria's sobs seemed to subside slightly. "I cheated on Ezra with her." Aria whispers.

"Aria, I think this is good." Emily says cautiously.

"How is this good Em, I've lost both of them." Aria had to admit it now. "I loved Ezra but..." She pauses pulling away from Emily and dropping her head in her hands. "I've fallen in love with Spencer." Aria knew that now, all the signs were there, she was just too wrapped up with Ezra to notice them. The wishing she was with Spencer when she was with Ezra, the feeling she got every time Spencer kissed her or touched her, she even loved when Spencer would talk to her about something scientific, or one of her other nerdy things, because the girl would light up in a way Aria couldn't explain, and even though Aria had no idea what she was talking about, she didn't mind one bit as long as she saw the way Spencer looked. She was hopelessly and completely in love with Spencer Hastings. But it was too late.

"Aria it's okay." Emily moves closer to Aria but Aria leaps up unable to push her feelings down now. She felt more clear minded than she ever had before because now she knew. 

"Emily, everything is not okay. She won't even take my calls or even look at me - what am I supposed to do?" Aria asks desperately. She meant the question - she was willing to do anything. Emily went silent for a moment throwing herself into a plan of some sort when she realised something. 

"Give me your phone." Emily demands,

"She won't answer." Aria says immediately.

"Just give." Emily rolls her eyes and Aria reluctantly hands her the mobile. Emily quickly types a S.O.S message claiming that Emily and Hanna were already at her house. Spencer replied almost immediately with a simple, I'll be there in 10. Emily smiled because Spencer obviously still cared about Aria to have replied so quickly. "She's on her way." Emily says handing Aria her phone back. Aria read the text and felt her mouth go dry. 

"She will kill me for faking a S.O.S." Aria says though she made no move to text Spencer that it was a false alarm.

"You didn't, I did." Emily shrugs like it was no big deal. Aria really hoped that this wouldn't be a 'the boy who cried wolf' kind of situation. "Anyway, I think this is a S.O.S situation Ar. Tell her how you feel." Emily stands up getting ready to leave.

"You're leaving, but, if she doesn't see your car-" Aria panics but Emily holds up a hand silencing her.

"I don't think she'll notice, but if you want, I'll wait in my car until I see her pull up." Aria still looked unsure. "Aria, I don't think I should be here for when you talk to her." Emily didn't want to intrude on their moment.

"What if she rejects me?" Aria asks dejectedly. Emily rolls her eyes in disbelief. 

"Just tell her what you told me, I'm sure she won't." Emily was a little too sure of herself.

"Okay, but what if she doesn't believe me or she leaves before I can say what I want?" Aria vents her worries her stomach churning with excitement at the idea of seeing Spencer but also with fear of what was about to happen. 

"You'll figure it out. Now go fix yourself up." Emily gestures towards a mirror since Aria's makeup had ran slightly when she had been crying. While Aria was distracted Emily sneaked out the house and to her car. She waited until she saw Spencer's car pull up outside of Aria's house. She smiled when she saw that Spencer didn't even knock - she just went straight in.

********

As soon as Spencer got the message her heart began racing. She wasn't sure if Aria was in any kind of danger, she just needed to know if Aria was okay. Spencer didn't bother knocking on the door, she burst into the Montgomery living, room shutting the door behind her as she did so. Spencer spotted Aria sitting on the couch her legs curled up to her chest. Maybe if Spencer hadn't been so concerned about Aria she would have noticed that Emily and Hanna weren't in the living room. Spencer rushes over to Aria, who looks up, her eyes bordering on tears. "You came?" Aria asks her voice sounding small. Spencer frowns, of course she came.

"Of course I came." Spencer says sitting beside Aria. "What's wrong Aria?" Spencer glances around the room for the first time realising that Hanna and Emily weren't here. Spencer hated being tricked and she turned back to Aria. "Where is Hanna and Emily?" Spencer's voice was accusing, she set her steely glare on Aria.

"They're not here." Aria says quietly. Spencer jumps up heading towards the door, but Aria was faster, she blocks Spencer from leaving by throwing herself in front of the door. 

"Aria move." Her tone was monotone, void of any kind of emotion. She was pissed, Aria could see that, but she couldn't let her leave, not until she heard what she had to say.

"Just listen to me Spencer." Aria begs looking into Spencer's eyes which were a dark coffee brown with flecks of gold. She had the urge to kiss her but restrained from it.

"It's okay Aria, you want to be with Fitz, that's fine." Spencer says trying to look for a way to escape the situation without hurting Aria.

"But-" Something snapped inside of Spencer, she couldn't stop it from coming out, even if it was harsh.

"You're not enough for me anymore!" Spencer bursts backing away from Aria when she sees the small girl flinch. "I want more from you than you can give me." Spencer lowers her voice to a more controlled level. It was true, Aria couldn't give her what she wanted, which was all of her with no Ezra Fitz. "You want-" Aria felt her anger bubble at the fact that Spencer was telling her what she wanted. What did she know?

"Don't tell me what I want Spencer!" Aria snaps and Spencer frowns. "Because I know what I want and it isn't Ezra Fitz." Spencer's face changes to surprise as she realised what Aria was saying. "I want you Spence, it's always been you." Aria takes a gentler tone. Spencer couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted me?" Spencer asks a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

"I want you Spencer, actually no, I need you." Aria steps closer to Spencer. "These last few days, when you've been ignoring me, have been worse than any breakup with Ezra. Every time I was with him I couldn't stop thinking about you." Aria takes Spencer's hand in her own. She felt slightly colder than usual - probably due to nerves. "I love you." Aria says and Spencer freezes. She had waited for Aria to say those words to her for a long time, and now that she actually had, it felt amazing. A warmth rips through her body, her hand becoming warm because of Aria. 

"I love you too." Spencer says not a shred of doubt in her voice. She wraps her arms around Aria's waist, lifting her off the ground in one scoop and Aria hooks her arms around Spencer's neck giggling as Spencer twirls them around. Placing her on the ground, Spencer leans down and places a gentle soft kiss on Aria's lips. "So, maybe we should go out sometime?" Spencer asks smiling.

"Like on a date?" Aria asks feeling her own smile on her face. She hadn't smiled in so long and it felt good to finally be doing it again. 

"Yeah, like on a date." Spencer confirms.

"I'd love to." Aria answers pulling Spencer back down for another kiss. It was going to hurt Ezra and Aria knew that hurting him would hurt her too, but right now, with Spencer, she knew that she was making the right decision. They may have been wrong when they started out, but now, Aria had never felt anything more right.


End file.
